Easter 2011

This week was sort of a scramble and I was a little disappointed that I didn't get more Eastery things done - like buy an Easter Lily or put up little Easter decorations. I really don't have those little Easter figurines and haven't made a huge effort to buy them, mainly because I lack display space. Plus, we were out of town all last week in Chicago and didn't get home until Friday.

I did manager to dye eggs, wrap presents, prepare 3 baskets (one for my Lily, one for my god-daughter and one for my brother's/girlfriend's daughter. For Easter this year we really jazzed things up and went Italian. We decided to go to Buca instead of the typical brunch place - which was a big issue for my family whose use to ham. Trust me, the complaints are still coming in. My mom ended the meal by saying "I forgot it's Easter with all this Italian food". But we enjoyed ourselves anyway and my brother and his girlfriend liked the food too so we weren't the only ones.
The morning started with an Easter egg hunt and a hunt for Lily's Easter basket. She left the Easter bunny two cookies, a carrot and orange juice as a snack. Yesterday, we also went to an Easter egg hunt outside where we actually met the Easter bunny. Very exciting! The Easter brought Lily a yellow pail with her name on it, a spongebob umbrella, a few crafts, a Tangled/Rupunzle doll and more chocolate and candy that my little 31lb flower will ever be able to eat. After the egg hunt - we got ready and went to church for a lovely service. Lily was so well behaved even though it got a little long. Then we headed to Buca. My mom bought Lily and Echo each their own little mailbox with their names on it filled with candy. They chased each other around the tables and had so much fun together. Makes me wish she had a sister or a brother. She did ask me last week if we could buy a baby, a real baby - she made the distinction. Then my brother and his girlfriend and Echo came over for girls to play and we had some cake. My mom bought a bunny cake for all of us to enjoy. They stayed until about 7.

It was a great Easter. I'm so thankful for my family and my beautiful daughter!

Testing 1-2-3 is this thing on?

Every time I get back into blogging I need to redecorate my house - well my blog house. Like it? Blogger has so many designs to choose from. Back when I started blogging there were like 3 templates. Now there are hundreds. Whenever I'm given too many options, I get numb and overwhelmed and confused. I think this template that I've chosen is simple enough to convey what this blog is about. Essentially it's about me writing about my life in the suburbs with my family. Exciting huh?

As of today here is what's happening in my world:

* About to turn 40 in less than 60 days. Scheduling a panic attack for May 1st. Stay tuned.
* Trying to add to our family. It's not going that well.
* Husband unemployed for over a year. Good times.
* 3 year old daughter is highlight of every day. XOXO.
* I love to cook and have a new cooking blog so check that out if you're bored with this one. I'm all about variety over here.

Something new

In case I have any readers out there, I thought I'd tell you about my new blog. It's a cooking blog. Come visit!
http://www.dinnertime.typepad.com

I'll be back here blogging very soon.
Love,

Kate

Getting Organized

My Lily turned 2 last month and I'm already noticing a lot of changes with this milestone. Mainly with myself. I get to sleep a lot later. This morning I slept in until 8! I have more time to myself since she's become more independent and has fallen hopelessly in love with Dora. Whenever I need to get some things done with work or do dishes or laundry, I can plop her down in front of the TV and she'll be amused for 20 minutes. It's not my favorite thing to do but it is nice to have a few breaks, for both of us. I try to limit her to 3, 20 minute shows a day. So with these changes I finally feel like I'm ready to start taking care of myself again i.e. eating better, losing weight, exercising, and BLOGGING. Blogging has always been my therapy but it is something I've gotten away (far away) from. My last blog post was almost one year ago. I'm not going to turn this entry into one big recap about what I've been doing all year. Needless to say, I've been busy. I'm just going to start from here and hope I have a few readers out there or maybe I'll get a few new ones.

For the past two years, I've been utterly consumed with taking care of my daughter and stopped taking care of myself or even caring about myself. It really is a challenge as a mother and wife to devout some time to yourself. There are so many things I need to do in a day, plus I have a full time job. I can see that the process of losing yourself in your family life happens slowly over time. In fact, I hardly noticed it until a few weeks ago. Partly it was because I was so tired and at the end of the day I just wanted to go to bed. I cook a lot and with that comes a lot of dishes. About two weeks ago I informed my husband that I would be cooking less...for him. I will continue to cook healthy, home made (mostly), organic food for our daughter but when it comes to him, a few nights a week he's on his own. As much as I'd like to say that Lily eats what we eat, that doesn't always happen and I end up making something for her, something for us and a big mess for me to clean up and no time for myself. So that's one change. The other change is I joined weight watchers two weeks ago and I'm down 3.6lbs. We're going to Florida in the middle of February and I would love to lose 10lbs before that. My goal is to lose 30lbs. I'm also trying to keep my house cleaner (now that I've got a little helper) and try and teach Lily to pick up after herself, keep the laundry and dishes clean and just get into the overall habit of keeping things tidy. It's amazing how much better you feel with a clean house and when things are organized. Some of the other changes are: drinking less wine, going to church and thinking more about God and being a good person (stop gossiping and focusing on negative people and energy), and working out. I'm trying to keep my goals realistic and I'm starting small but this is the first time in a long time that I'm actually even thinking about myself. I see how Lily copies things I do and say I want to be a good role model for her. I know that if I take care of myself she will see that and learn to take care of herself.

Oh and I plan on taking a lot more baths.....

Settled

There is something to be said about being a homeowner. I feel settled in a way that I haven't felt in my 37 years. I love my home and I'm so happy that we pushed ourselves and bought this house and went through the pain of moving and finding renters for our townhome. We really stretched ourselves financially and it all worked out. Our house isn't a dream home by any stretch of the term but it is a dream home for me. When I think about where I grew up for me this home feels like a palace and I'm so happy Lily gets to be raised here in this house in this nice neighborhood. I really feel complete for the first time in my life. I have the family I've always wanted and we have a nice home to entertain and have our families come over and host holidays. We've lived here for three months and I still looked around almost daily and thank God that I'm here living the life that I dreamed of for so long. I still look at Lily and I'm amazed constantly by her presence in my life. There are toys all over family room and our living room is just one big play room because we don't have any furniture in there yet and I love it. I have a gazillion things I want to do to redecorate and things I new furniture I want to buy and things I want to paint but right now I'm just focusing on living here and being here and being grateful. It took me a long time to get here. My road to having a family was long and painful and I don't just mean the infertility. My dysfunctional upbringing left me longing for a family way before I was even married or tried to have kids.

Today was the first nice day that we've had in months. The temperature got up to 62 degrees and it felt wonderful to be able to open the sliding glass door in our kitchen and let the fresh air come in. Lily loves going outside and just stands by the glass door waiting for me to take her outside. I could hear kids outside playing and basketballs bouncing against garage doors, and kites flying overhead. They were all sounds of a neighborhood that reminded me of my neighborhood growing up. I could hear vacuums cleaners going in other neighbors houses and sounds of their families sitting on their deck, windows wide open and the wonderful sounds of family life filled my little corner of the world.

My sweet Lily is 14 months old and is walking/running around all over the place. She is still taking her bottle and not totally embracing the sippy cup thing yet but she's working on it. She's so smart she understands B when he speaks Serbian and me when I speak English to her. She loves her piggy stuffed animal and takes him with her everything. She loves the basement and always wants B to take her down there to play. She loves the outside and always wants to go go go. We love her so much and hug and kiss her a million times in a day. She's so independent you can hardly hold her for two seconds and she wants to get her going. She loves spinach, sweet potatoes, squash. I try and do most of her cooking. When I make her spinach you'd think Iwas serving her chocolate cake she just eats it up so fast and can't get enough. She's a good sleeper and almost always sleeps through the night until about 6:30. She's down by 7:30 and takes two naps a day. One quick one in the morning and then a little longer one in the afternoon. She just started coloring a little bit and likes stickers and her books. I just want to hold her tight every day to freeze time because she's growing so fast I can't keep up.

And...I'm thinking more about having another baby. Just thinking but I am thinking about it....a lot.

Grateful

My sister and Lily are at baby story time in the library and I'm actually alone in my house. I don't think I've bee alone here since we moved in. It sure is quiet. Since I'm trying to blog more I thought I'd take this opportunity to write a few thoughts.

Lately when I put Lily to bed at night we've been saying our prayers as I rock her to sleep. And I thank God for all the things that we are grateful for and pray for those less fortunate than us. I feel so blessed to be able to give my child all of the things she needs. I think the hardest thing in the entire world would be to not be able to help your children or give them food or be able to care for them and have to watch them suffer. I'm so thankful for Lily's smiles and her laughs and that she is a happy, healthy and beautiful baby.

Well that was a short post. They are ready for me to pick them up.

Making time to blog

There are so many damn things to do in a day that by the end of it blogging is LOW on my priority list. But writing has always given me a sense of purpose and I love rereading my blog posts and diary entries so I know how much value it has. So I'm going to really try to get it back on track.

Here are a few Lily updates.
1. She's an official walker. 13 months almost to the day she just took off and she's not looking back. It's so adorable to see her and her little leggies walking.
2. She can do "So big" in english and serbian. B is trying to speak to her mostly in serbian and she is understanding him.
3. She is sleeping pretty well these days. Goes to bed right around 7 or 7:30 and has been sleeping until 6:30. Her morning nap can be anywhere from 30 min. to a full hour and then the afternoon nap is right about an hour.
4. She drinks a full 8 oz in the morning and then two 5 oz bottles during the day and then anotehr 8 oz at night before bed. She eats three meals and usually one snap. Loves spinach and sweet potatoes and she seems to really like chicken a lot. She's not so keep on beef. I try and do most of the cooking for she eats pretty well as long as she' s entertained with a toy or something interesting. As soon as she's bored those lips shut and you can't get anything in. But the minute you give her something new to play with she opens up and wide as can be an eats like a champ. She's has me totally wrapped around her cute little finger.
5. Her love affair with her piggy is still going strong. She loves that stuffed animal. She's such an affectionate and loving little baby. Always giving us kisses and hugs. She loves to hug her stuffed animals and give them kisses.
6. She just started to like to clean up with a paper towel. She'll wipe the tables and the sofa with the paper towel like she's cleaning.
7. She also like to take everything out of her laundry basket and out of her toy bins. Putting things away is a different story. But she's a pro at taking things out and throwing them on the floor.
8. She loves her books. Sometimes in the morning she'll just sit on the floor by her stack of books and sit there for like 20 minutes and look through each one.

Anyway now about me. Well I am loving my new house and all the space that we have her for Lily to play. I still have some redecorating to do (once I get some cash) to make it more my style but I really love the open space and the fact that we have a dining room and formal living room. I wasn't too happy about having a gas fireplace instead of wood burning but I have to stay I have fallen in love with that fireplace over the past month when it has been like -20 degrees every single day in January. I love working at home and having my sister as my nanny taking care of Lily while I'm working. It's nice to be at home and still be able to come downstairs and have lunch with her and play sometimes throughout the day. I think she's getting a little confused with me here though because she doesn't understand why I keep leaving to go upstairs and she wants to stay by me but I hand her off to my sister when I have to get back to work. That part is an adjustment for her. I'm just so thankful that I don't have her in daycare.

I've been trying to get back on weight watchers and count my points daily. I definitely went off my points yesterday with the super bowl and eating at old country buffet for my aunt's birthday (her choice not mine). I really want to be able to lose weight before spring. We have so many wonderful trails around here and I just can't wait to get outside in my backyard. For the first time I'm actually looking forward to spring and summer. We have a nice deck with a gazebo and a big back yard. I can't wait to have friends over for BBQ's. I just never felt like I had enough space at our townhouse to entertain and it always stressed me out because there was never enough room. But the kitchen, family room and deck are all open with big windows and I just can't wait to have everything open and the fresh air coming in. And for Lily to get to play outside in her sandbox.

Now if we could just find a renter for our townhouse. We thought we had someone signed up for a one year lease but it sounds like they might be backing out. If that could happen then we'd be all set.

When I look back at all the things I wanted for my life before I had Lily I can honestly say that I have it. This is pretty much what I wanted. I wanted to work and have a career but still be able to spend quality time with her. I couldn't imagine her having to go to daycare 10 hours a day but at the same time I wanted to work. So this really is the perfect situation. My mom comes over a lot during the day and sometimes my neice comes by. I love the feeling of my home being filled with people and family. When it comes down to it family is what is most important and I'm so thankful for mine.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hoursin a day are not enough, remember the story of the mayonnaise jar andthe 2 BeersA professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items infront of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very largeand empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. Hethen asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into thejar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areasbetween the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar wasfull. They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more ifthe jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and pouredthe entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty spacebetween the sand. The students laughed.'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you torecognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are theimportant things---your family, your children, your health, your friendsand your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and onlythey remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the otherthings that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand iseverything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jarfirst,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golfballs. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy onthe small stuff you will never have room for the things that areimportant to you. 'Pay attention to the things that are critical to yourhappiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents.Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take yourspouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time toclean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf ballsfirst---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest isjust sand.'One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beerrepresented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' Thebeer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there'salways room for a couple of beers with a friend.' Please share this withsomeone you care about.