Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Today I'm grateful for:

Taking the day off from work and spending the entire day at the mall of America going on rides and spending time with Lily. Watching her laugh and saying "I'm so excited" when i told her that I could go on the balloon ride with her.

An evening spent at my sisters celebrating my nieces 31st birthday. Lily was so happy to be around my family. I loved watching my nephew pick her up and tickle her. It's wonderful to see the love others have for your daughter.

Grateful that tomorrow is picture day at Lily's preschool and I have a flexible enough job that I get to be a volunteer!

I truly felt present and happy today. Not rushed or anxious but peaceful and grateful for this day with my daughter.

Grateful and thankful for this day of rides, dipping dots, macaroni and cheese, handmade name bracelets, blues clues tattoos and lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

Thank you.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter 2011

This week was sort of a scramble and I was a little disappointed that I didn't get more Eastery things done - like buy an Easter Lily or put up little Easter decorations. I really don't have those little Easter figurines and haven't made a huge effort to buy them, mainly because I lack display space. Plus, we were out of town all last week in Chicago and didn't get home until Friday.

I did manager to dye eggs, wrap presents, prepare 3 baskets (one for my Lily, one for my god-daughter and one for my brother's/girlfriend's daughter. For Easter this year we really jazzed things up and went Italian. We decided to go to Buca instead of the typical brunch place - which was a big issue for my family whose use to ham. Trust me, the complaints are still coming in. My mom ended the meal by saying "I forgot it's Easter with all this Italian food". But we enjoyed ourselves anyway and my brother and his girlfriend liked the food too so we weren't the only ones.
The morning started with an Easter egg hunt and a hunt for Lily's Easter basket. She left the Easter bunny two cookies, a carrot and orange juice as a snack. Yesterday, we also went to an Easter egg hunt outside where we actually met the Easter bunny. Very exciting! The Easter brought Lily a yellow pail with her name on it, a spongebob umbrella, a few crafts, a Tangled/Rupunzle doll and more chocolate and candy that my little 31lb flower will ever be able to eat. After the egg hunt - we got ready and went to church for a lovely service. Lily was so well behaved even though it got a little long. Then we headed to Buca. My mom bought Lily and Echo each their own little mailbox with their names on it filled with candy. They chased each other around the tables and had so much fun together. Makes me wish she had a sister or a brother. She did ask me last week if we could buy a baby, a real baby - she made the distinction. Then my brother and his girlfriend and Echo came over for girls to play and we had some cake. My mom bought a bunny cake for all of us to enjoy. They stayed until about 7.

It was a great Easter. I'm so thankful for my family and my beautiful daughter!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Testing 1-2-3 is this thing on?

Every time I get back into blogging I need to redecorate my house - well my blog house. Like it? Blogger has so many designs to choose from. Back when I started blogging there were like 3 templates. Now there are hundreds. Whenever I'm given too many options, I get numb and overwhelmed and confused. I think this template that I've chosen is simple enough to convey what this blog is about. Essentially it's about me writing about my life in the suburbs with my family. Exciting huh?

As of today here is what's happening in my world:

* About to turn 40 in less than 60 days. Scheduling a panic attack for May 1st. Stay tuned.
* Trying to add to our family. It's not going that well.
* Husband unemployed for over a year. Good times.
* 3 year old daughter is highlight of every day. XOXO.
* I love to cook and have a new cooking blog so check that out if you're bored with this one. I'm all about variety over here.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Something new

In case I have any readers out there, I thought I'd tell you about my new blog. It's a cooking blog. Come visit!

I'll be back here blogging very soon.


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Getting Organized

My Lily turned 2 last month and I'm already noticing a lot of changes with this milestone. Mainly with myself. I get to sleep a lot later. This morning I slept in until 8! I have more time to myself since she's become more independent and has fallen hopelessly in love with Dora. Whenever I need to get some things done with work or do dishes or laundry, I can plop her down in front of the TV and she'll be amused for 20 minutes. It's not my favorite thing to do but it is nice to have a few breaks, for both of us. I try to limit her to 3, 20 minute shows a day. So with these changes I finally feel like I'm ready to start taking care of myself again i.e. eating better, losing weight, exercising, and BLOGGING. Blogging has always been my therapy but it is something I've gotten away (far away) from. My last blog post was almost one year ago. I'm not going to turn this entry into one big recap about what I've been doing all year. Needless to say, I've been busy. I'm just going to start from here and hope I have a few readers out there or maybe I'll get a few new ones.

For the past two years, I've been utterly consumed with taking care of my daughter and stopped taking care of myself or even caring about myself. It really is a challenge as a mother and wife to devout some time to yourself. There are so many things I need to do in a day, plus I have a full time job. I can see that the process of losing yourself in your family life happens slowly over time. In fact, I hardly noticed it until a few weeks ago. Partly it was because I was so tired and at the end of the day I just wanted to go to bed. I cook a lot and with that comes a lot of dishes. About two weeks ago I informed my husband that I would be cooking less...for him. I will continue to cook healthy, home made (mostly), organic food for our daughter but when it comes to him, a few nights a week he's on his own. As much as I'd like to say that Lily eats what we eat, that doesn't always happen and I end up making something for her, something for us and a big mess for me to clean up and no time for myself. So that's one change. The other change is I joined weight watchers two weeks ago and I'm down 3.6lbs. We're going to Florida in the middle of February and I would love to lose 10lbs before that. My goal is to lose 30lbs. I'm also trying to keep my house cleaner (now that I've got a little helper) and try and teach Lily to pick up after herself, keep the laundry and dishes clean and just get into the overall habit of keeping things tidy. It's amazing how much better you feel with a clean house and when things are organized. Some of the other changes are: drinking less wine, going to church and thinking more about God and being a good person (stop gossiping and focusing on negative people and energy), and working out. I'm trying to keep my goals realistic and I'm starting small but this is the first time in a long time that I'm actually even thinking about myself. I see how Lily copies things I do and say I want to be a good role model for her. I know that if I take care of myself she will see that and learn to take care of herself.

Oh and I plan on taking a lot more baths.....

Monday, March 16, 2009


There is something to be said about being a homeowner. I feel settled in a way that I haven't felt in my 37 years. I love my home and I'm so happy that we pushed ourselves and bought this house and went through the pain of moving and finding renters for our townhome. We really stretched ourselves financially and it all worked out. Our house isn't a dream home by any stretch of the term but it is a dream home for me. When I think about where I grew up for me this home feels like a palace and I'm so happy Lily gets to be raised here in this house in this nice neighborhood. I really feel complete for the first time in my life. I have the family I've always wanted and we have a nice home to entertain and have our families come over and host holidays. We've lived here for three months and I still looked around almost daily and thank God that I'm here living the life that I dreamed of for so long. I still look at Lily and I'm amazed constantly by her presence in my life. There are toys all over family room and our living room is just one big play room because we don't have any furniture in there yet and I love it. I have a gazillion things I want to do to redecorate and things I new furniture I want to buy and things I want to paint but right now I'm just focusing on living here and being here and being grateful. It took me a long time to get here. My road to having a family was long and painful and I don't just mean the infertility. My dysfunctional upbringing left me longing for a family way before I was even married or tried to have kids.

Today was the first nice day that we've had in months. The temperature got up to 62 degrees and it felt wonderful to be able to open the sliding glass door in our kitchen and let the fresh air come in. Lily loves going outside and just stands by the glass door waiting for me to take her outside. I could hear kids outside playing and basketballs bouncing against garage doors, and kites flying overhead. They were all sounds of a neighborhood that reminded me of my neighborhood growing up. I could hear vacuums cleaners going in other neighbors houses and sounds of their families sitting on their deck, windows wide open and the wonderful sounds of family life filled my little corner of the world.

My sweet Lily is 14 months old and is walking/running around all over the place. She is still taking her bottle and not totally embracing the sippy cup thing yet but she's working on it. She's so smart she understands B when he speaks Serbian and me when I speak English to her. She loves her piggy stuffed animal and takes him with her everything. She loves the basement and always wants B to take her down there to play. She loves the outside and always wants to go go go. We love her so much and hug and kiss her a million times in a day. She's so independent you can hardly hold her for two seconds and she wants to get her going. She loves spinach, sweet potatoes, squash. I try and do most of her cooking. When I make her spinach you'd think Iwas serving her chocolate cake she just eats it up so fast and can't get enough. She's a good sleeper and almost always sleeps through the night until about 6:30. She's down by 7:30 and takes two naps a day. One quick one in the morning and then a little longer one in the afternoon. She just started coloring a little bit and likes stickers and her books. I just want to hold her tight every day to freeze time because she's growing so fast I can't keep up.

And...I'm thinking more about having another baby. Just thinking but I am thinking about it....a lot.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


My sister and Lily are at baby story time in the library and I'm actually alone in my house. I don't think I've bee alone here since we moved in. It sure is quiet. Since I'm trying to blog more I thought I'd take this opportunity to write a few thoughts.

Lately when I put Lily to bed at night we've been saying our prayers as I rock her to sleep. And I thank God for all the things that we are grateful for and pray for those less fortunate than us. I feel so blessed to be able to give my child all of the things she needs. I think the hardest thing in the entire world would be to not be able to help your children or give them food or be able to care for them and have to watch them suffer. I'm so thankful for Lily's smiles and her laughs and that she is a happy, healthy and beautiful baby.

Well that was a short post. They are ready for me to pick them up.