10 weeks old

Lily turned 10 weeks old yesterday. My girl is getting so big and I feel like time is passing so fast. In one week I'll have to go back to work and some how try and rebuild my business from where I left off on December 12th. Lily smiles at me all the time now and I can make her laugh with any one of our little games that we play throughout the day. The other day she was laying on her little mat with all these little dangly things hanging over her head and I showed her how to hit one of the little toys with her hand. Then in the afternoon when I put her on the mat again she remembered and started hitting the toy with her hand and smiling. She kept doing it over and over so I went and grabbed the video recorder and managed to get some of it on tape. The sounds she makes are really changing from just crying sounds to actual baby talk. She makes the gaagaagaa sound a lot and sometimes I feel like she is trying to say 'Hi'. Although I'm sure she's not. I love love love it when she makes those sounds and looks at me and smiles. Then I say something back and then she makes the gaaaagaaagaa sound. My heart just melts to pieces. We've started a new bedtime routine where I rock her in the rocking chair and sing a little song (it had to be you is usually what I sing) and then put her in her bed. I put her to bed around 6:30ish and she sleeps until 10ish and then I've been waking her up to feed her which I'm not sure I'm suppose to do but it seems to work because then she'll sleep between 3 and 4. Then I feed her and we sleep until around 8ish. That's been our schedule for the last week. I'm sure it will change but for not it seems to be working for us.

Sometimes I feel like I"m getting the hang of the motherhood thing but then other days I feel like I'm not. It seems to all depend on how much sleep I'm getting. When I'm rested I feel great and totally together. When I'm tired I feel like a big fat mess that can't get her shit together. My back sure hurts these days carrying that carseat around. That thing is frickin' heavy. I see some women out with their carseats and they make it seem effortless but for some reason mine is super heavy ( to me) and I drag it along trying to make it look much easier than it is. We went to visit some relatives this week and they live in an assisted living type place and I had to carry the carseat (with baby) down this corridor that went on for miles and miles. I thought I was going to need some assisted living by the time I made it to their apartment. Next week it's going to be all about shopping. I need some work clothes since I can't fit into my old pre-pregnancy work clothes and I refuse to wear maternity clothes to work 2 months after having a baby. NO WAY. So I need to buy a few things. Just a few things because HELLO of course I'm not staying at this weight.

In other news:

* I think I'm developing a thing for Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab. I don't know what it is about him but he gets hotter and hotter every time I watch the damn show. Makes me want to pull an Amy Winehouse and go to rehab.

* I love TheraFlu - I'm sick right now with a bad ass cold and that yummy hot cup of goodness just makes my day. Is it okay to drink it when your not sick? Hmm I wonder. B took a half day off of work to come home so I could go to bed and rest. It's so nice to be in bed with my laptop watching HGTV, drinking my TheraFlu with a hot pack on my back. Although I hear B and baby downstairs and her little babbly voice and I sort of want to go down there and play. I'm such a dork.

* My new favorite show is The Real Housewives of NYC. I love that show. It totally feeds into my secret desire of being a New York socialite. Which explains why I keep looking for jobs on Monsterdotcome in Manhattan.

* I took baby out in the stroller for the very first time yesterday. We went shopping together :-) She mostly slept in her stroller but I felt like a real mom out in public with her baby. A real mom. Me. Some imes I have to keep reminding myself of that.