The Motherhood

While I was trying to get pregnant I often felt like The Motherhood was an elusive, elite sorority that I desperately wanted to pledge. I didn't get the inside jokes about sleep deprivation and breastfeeding. I didn't know the secret Motherhood handshake. Oh believe me I tried to play along. I was desperate to join. But just like it is with dating, l'eau d'desperation is not a fragrance people find attractive. Now that I'm in the club I get to laugh at all the jokes and even tell a few of my own. I can have endless hours of conversation about the feeding or sleep habits of my baby. Women stop me and my baby in Whole Foods and start up conversations at random. Women really are talkative and friendly when you are part of the Motherhood. Is it just that now they can figure me out or is the baby just a great conversation starter? At 37 I am a bit older than most of the first time Motherhood members but I still feel welcome in the club. It's really nice to finally feel like I fit in. I sometimes see a wanna-be member like I use to be and I can feel her eagerness to join the group. I see my former infertile self in her. But most of all, I'm just happy that I am not her anymore.

The Motherhood does have a dark side. They are definitely a competitive bunch. I've always known women to be competitive but the Motherhood can bring it to a whole new level. And I have a feeling it is only going to get worse. Mothers are truly amazing people. I have developed a great deal appreciation for mothers since becoming one myself. But why do we need to put other women down to make ourselves feel like better mothers and wives. I really hope that I don't become one of those women. One of these women is my mother in law. Just because I'm part of the Motherhood doesn't mean she's going to welcome me into the group with open arms. I'm not done with her initiation. I still need to earn my apron strings.

Lily highlight: My little bubble-blower. She is constantly trying to blow little spit bubbles. It's so cute when she has her nook in her mouth and she's tries to blow bubbles - she just lays in her crib with her nook and you can hear her making all this noise. It is so cute! Oh and she loves to scratch everything. Her little fingers are always trying to feel fabric or texture. She even does it in her sleep.

Good night!